


Icy Rescue. PoTF Style

by FanFicReader01



Category: Ice Road Rescue, Poets of the Fall
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Breaking the Fourth Wall, Crack, Crossover, Drama, Fluff, Norway (Country), OCs - Freeform, Self-Indulgent, Tour Bus, Touring, bus drive gone wrong, how to reveal you real identity with one lame fic, mention of my current crush, so many regrets and this is one of them, some self inserts, the writer is a desperate idiot, writer is gay and this is what he comes up with to cope
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-02
Updated: 2018-08-02
Packaged: 2019-06-20 19:34:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,650
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15541440
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FanFicReader01/pseuds/FanFicReader01
Summary: During their trip to Oslo, PoTF gets stuck during a heavy snow storm. There's only one rescue brigade that can rescue them.





	Icy Rescue. PoTF Style

**Author's Note:**

> I have no life anymore and I'm probably alone in this other mentioned 'fandom'.  
> Bear with me on this cringey adventure full of self-indulgent shenanigans.

**EXT. SNOWY ZIG ZAGGY ROADS OF NORWAY – 2PM**

**The POTF BUS is driving through the crisscrossing roads of Norway. These roads are not easy ones to take. Especially if they’re covered with tons of snow. It’s not that the POETS never encountered such harsh weather before (after all they’re from Finland) but driving in this weather always brings its risks, even if equipped with the right gear.**

**The world outside is dark and a bit grimy with all those shades of grey.**

**Inside the bus however, it is vivid and warm and even cosy.**

**The usual banter is being held, faint background music accompanied by some live instruments from the guys themselves fill the otherwise silent bus.**

**The bus driver hums along, even though his voice isn’t fit for that.**

**OLLI stops doodling on his guitar to grab a snack.**

**MARKO is seen grinning.**

**MARKO**

Don’t fall over.

 

**Olli rolls his eyes at him.**

**KAPU and JARI are watching some goofy videos about pets on Kapu’s laptop.**

**JASKA and JANI are arm wrestling for no other reason than just fooling around as well.**

**Olli walks past them while keeping his hands consistently on the chairs so he won’t fall over when the bus takes another sharp turn.**

**OLLI**

**(snorts)**

Where’s the chocolate bars?

**JANI**

**(cackles)**

Guess you’re too late!

 

**Olli throws his friend a sharp look. Jani remains unfazed by it.**

**OLLI**

Did you take last one?!

 

**Jani shakes his head in denial and pulls his most innocent face, which only accentuates he’s lying.**

**Olli approaches the bassist who then obviously hides something behind his back.**

**JANI**

**(pouts)**

Others might want it too!

 

**MARKO**

**(exclaims)**

Don’t want any now.

**JARI**

Me neither.

 

**KAPU**

**(shouts)**

I’ll buy something once we’re in Oslo!

 

**Jaska’s silence catches Olli’s attention. The other guitarist is looking too smug. He’s up to something.**

**Then Jani quickly throws the chocolate bar over Olli’s head in a perfect arc. Jaska catches it mid-air and starts laughing out loud.**

**All laughter gets harshly interrupted by the bus. It makes a screeching sound and shakes heavily, throwing Olli off-balance. Jaska manages to grab his friend before he can fall.**

**The bus has slipped off the main road and comes to a brute halt against the mountain. Luckily it’s a broader part of the road so the bus isn’t an nuisance for any unexpecting traffic.**

**The BUS DRIVER curses. Olli jumps up and runs over to him to check if he’s alright.**

**KAPU**

Is everyone alright? Anybody hurt?

 

**JARI**

**(stutters in shock and readjusts his glasses)**

I-I’m fine.

 

**JANI**

Positive here, as far as positive goes!

 

**The other bandmembers seem to be unharmed as well, just like the bus driver. It is a big relief. Carefully everybody sits back in their chairs again.**

**Then Marko, Kapu and the bus driver dare to go outside to check the damage.**

**JARI**

**(whispers)**

I hope we won’t get stuck here.

 

**JASKA**

**(chuckles nervously)**

Else we’re fucked.

 

**Then Markus jumps back into the tour bus. He is wearing a frown and shakes his head and even sighs.**

**KAPU**

Looks like we have to call out for help. I think we’re lucky enough no one got hurt. But at this rate, the bus won’t drive us anywhere soon.

 

**And so the whole group waits for help. Their driver has managed to contact a local company, based not too far from the scene of delict.**

**\-- Almost an hour later --**

**A RED TRUCK finally comes into sight. The strong headlights push away the mist from the snow but nothing beats mother nature. The truck parks next to the crashed vehicle.**

**Jani peers outside and sees two mysterious figures step outside.**

**USHANKA HAT MAN steps inside first. He’s clouded in snowy mist, making him all look cool and mysterious.**

**The man wears reflective clothing. (AN: The bright white stripes make the screenwriter think of heavenly white like an angel. The clouds around him also add to the angelic symbolism which is _totally_ at play here.)**

**After the dramatic, cold has fallen away, a humble and friendly rescuer stands in the front of the bus. The ushanka hat man has gentle blue eyes and a warm smile. (AN: a smile that can melt away the cold in the author’s heart.)**

**Next to him, now stands RESCUER TWO. He also wears high-visibility attires but no funny hat.**

**USHANKA HAT MAN**

**(cracks a smile)**

Phew, good to see you’re all still alive and well!

 

**JANI**

**(huffs)**

Depends on what you call ‘well’

 

**USHANKA HAT MAN**

**(tips head and hat)**

Given you’re not dead and only the bus seems to be damaged and not on the verge of exploding I think you’re still holding up great. But it must’ve been a shock to you.

 

**JANI**

**(holds back inappropriate laughter)**

**A true _shocker_ yes.**

 

Ushanka Hat man seems to share the same humour and laughs too. He pats Jani’s shoulder.

 

He takes off his hat, revealing floofy blond hair underneath.

**OLLI**

**(gasps)**

Another blondie!

 

**USHANKA HAT MAN**

**(rolls his eyes)**

You’re in Norway, my friend.

 

**MARKO**

**(giggles)**

Welcome to the Conveniently Attractive Blondie Club!

 

**USHANKA HAT MAN**

**(laughs)**

Okay then. Anyway, we’re here to get you out of the cold! Name’s Thord by the way.

 

**JANI**

Pleased to meet you. I’m Jani.

 

**MARKO**

I’m Marko. Thanks for helping us out here.

 

**KAPU**

**(nods at the other rescuer)**

Thanks, man. You too.

 

**RESCUER TWO**

NO problem. I’m  Olav.

 

**OLLI**

**(whispers to Marko)**

He is no blondie, though.

 

**Marko only rolls his eyes to that remark. It makes both Norwegian men crack a smile, though.**

**JASKA**

If these aren’t our rescue angels, hehe!

 

**OLAV**

We can’t let you guys simply freeze to death here, can we? We have our conscience, you know.

 

**THORD**

**(jokes)**

Don’t forget the mon€y!

 

**Then he and Olav leave the bus again and make plans to tow the bus to safety. The two call another colleague with a smaller bus to drive the band to ODDA, the home of the rescuers.**

**\-- Three hours later I guess --**

**INT. THORD’S GARAGE IN ODDA – LATE AFTERNOON**

**The whole group is safely brought back to Odda where their bus awaits repair. The band spends some time in their literal saviour’s garage.**

**They all sit in a small circle drinking their hot choco that Thord provided them with.**

**MARKO**

What a great guy!

 

**JARI**

Yes, he’s really friendly. That other guy too.

 

**JASKA**

**(frowns at the bus driver)**

What’s up? Look, it wasn’t your fault the bus crashed. Weather got the better of us and even though we had snow tires and chains we weren’t prepared for-

 

**The bus driver, who has been quiet during the whole event after the rescue is hiding behind his scarf. Then he pops his head out and reveals to have a face, red as a tomato.**

**BUS DRIVER**

**(exclaims)**

DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHO YOU’RE TALKING ABOUT?!!

 

**KAPU**

**(confused)**

You’re talking about that Thord guy, right?

 

**BUS DRIVER**

**(shouts)**

‘That Thord guy?’ He’s not ‘just a guy'! He is THORD FRIGGING PAULSEN man! From TV. Ice Road Rescue? Hello? Anybody?

 

**At this exact moment Thord enters the garage again.**

**THORD**

**(smirking)**

You rang?

 

**The bus driver shuts down immediately and sits down. He didn’t even realize he’d jumped up in pure excitement. Again, the bus driver who appears all of a sudden quite small, hides behind his scarf once more.**

**BUS DRIVER**

Nothing. J-just saying I knew you from TV and stuff.

 

**THORD**

**(laughs)**

Oh, yeah. That’s me. Don’t worry about it.

 

**The Norwegian man throws a look at the bus driver who wishes he could sink into the floor and disappear.**

**THORD**

**(frowns)**

Have we met somewhere before?

 

**BUS DRIVER**

**(cackles nervously)**

You must’ve mistaken me for someone else. Anyway, thanks for the hot chocolate!

 

**OLLI**

**(saves the bus driver from the awkward situation)**

Yes! It tastes really good.

 

**THORD**

Got it from the _Chocolate Hotel_. They make the best. Gotta visit it in Denmark if you go there one day. Which shouldn’t be a problem for a couple of touring musicians like you guys!

 

**\-- Tuesday, four days later --**

**EXT. THORD’s GARAGE – EARLY MORNING**

**The bus is fixed again. Marko thanks the rescue crew for helping out and showing them around in the _odd_ town.**

**The other band members also thank Thord and co-workers for their hard work.**

**The bus driver is hopping from one leg to another. He looks very nervous when it’s his time to say goodbye and out his thanks.**

**THORD**

Drive safely and stay out of problems.

 

**BUS DRIVER**

**(cackles)**

S-Sure. Thanks, man. For helping out and all, you know.

 

**THORD**

**(smiles)**

Sure. I like helping people, that’s why it’s my job. Besides, for you it must be an honour to drive for these amazing musicians.

 

**BUS DRIVER**

Sure is! Hahaha!

 

**Then Thord and PoTF’s bus driver shake hands and the driver lingers a bit longer than he should. Suddenly he’s sweating nervously.**

**BUS DRIVER**

**(stammers)**

E-ehm, before we can really go I just wanted to ask you something still.

 

**THORD**

**(raises an eyebrow)**

Shoot

 

**BUS DRIVER**

**(in one breath)**

Could I ask for a picture with you? I-if that’s not too much to ask. I-, I mean I already caused you this trouble and-

 

**THORD**

**(laughs)**

Of course! And don’t worry about being a nuisance. It’s what earns me money in the first place.

 

**After the awkward question gets answered, everyone heads back into the fixed bus. Thord waves them goodbye and then PoTF drives away.**

**It takes them two other days to arrive in Oslo. Luckily they were _way_ ahead of their schedule (because the plot said so) and they don’t have to cancel their gig there.**

**Of course, the whole theatre is sold out in Oslo and the guys have a rocking night while their bus driver still has to chill out from the stressful days he’s been through. That poor idiot.**


End file.
